Other than some crashing metal prices last week, there’s just not a lot of exciting things to discuss in the market. You want to hear about the unemployment rate? It just went down 0.1%. The stock market yawned and so did I. So this week I’d like to address some more 30,000 foot issues like …
Life, huh? What a high-wire act! So much to remember every single day. As my wife and kids go visit her family in Winston-Salem this week for the kids Winter Break at school, I’m reminded of all the stuff that I need to take care of that I don’t have to think about on the regular. Like keeping the dogs alive. I will sheepishly admit I’m struggling to remember when I fed and watered Moon and Charlie last, even though I’m the reason we have both dogs! Yet they continue to attack me (with love I’m sure) as I open the door when I come home from work. But they’re still alive. Someone else in my house must be giving them food and water. I do recall all the Chewy’s dog food deliveries.
Also, apparently, I’m going to need to address some bills on the kitchen hot spot this week. Ashley takes care of those, thank goodness. How to go about that in terms of what bills are paid online automatically versus manual entry I have absolutely no idea. I guess I’ll have to find out.
It’s terrific that before leaving town she did an Instacart order for me, so that one, I don’t eat multiple frozen pizzas, and two, that I don’t spend too much at Chick-Fil-a and Whataburger. OK, I might still go to Whataburger. (Don’t tell her please). I’m vaguely aware that the dishwasher got fixed this week by someone she called, so there’s a 1.5% chance I could make a meal that could possibly dirty up some dishes. Since she is an amazing cook, she prepares all the meals. I do clean the dishes. (I’m not totally useless).
There’s so much to keep straight this week she’s gone. Like birthdays. For some reason half the people in my life decided to be born on the same week. This one. I would need a second mortgage to buy all of y’all a birthday present so I hope you’re going to let me slide. Ashley usually helps me track of those and keeps me in the good graces of so many people it’s not funny.
Yes, I take care of the investments and earning money and things like that but there are so many things for which I depend on my understanding, extremely patient wife that I cannot account for it all for here. It occurs to me in a most humbling way, that if something ever happened to her, there would be an insane amount of things for me to juggle while dealing with the acute, near-and-possibly-mortal emotional pain. When do the Cross Country practices start up again? What time does the last school bell ring? What time and days are the play practices on? Aren’t we supposed to pay for the kids’ camps in the spring? What night do we see our friends?
It’s Valentine’s Day this Saturday, and you’ve just seen part of a mental game I like to play. It brings home to me what’s important and crystallizes my thoughts which I can turn into actions. The game called “What a Lucky Doofus I Am.” It goes like this: I admit out loud to anyone in earshot that I’m a Lucky Doofus and then I ask myself why. It’s a fantastic exercise to go through and you begin to realize just how many critical things and wonderful things happen outside your own direction that you’ve come to depend on your someone special for. It’s a great way to realize that maybe, just maybe, even you, you likeable, successful person, haven’t got it all figured out. There’s just too much stuff to do and not enough time in the day. As I much as I know about the stock market and investing, I’m inversely smart (the kindest way I call myself stupid) in certain aspects that Ashley handles like teaching the kids Latin and science. Could it be then that if that she wasn’t here anymore I would be struggling through my own ignorance every day? Flipping it to you now, if your significant other was gone …? I’m talking beyond the most obvious emotional struggles. But I realize as I’m accounting for the things Ashley handles just how big a hole her passing might create. Missing all the little loving things she does to help me handle what I do is just the start. For so many couples there’s a division of labor. Rarely does one person handle all the tasks – because there are far too many. Drawing from the experience of countless client meetings, usually one person handles the finances and investments. For Ashley and I that’s split, but either way there’s a tremendous hole to fill and a large knowledge gap that’s created upon one the death of a husband or wife. And it happens right when the surviving spouse is emotionally least capable of dealing with it.
That’s where we come in. We can’t take away the pain of loss but we can help reduce the chaos that comes with it. Let’s start with life insurance: the right coverage gives a surviving spouse time, time to make decisions without urgency. Some of you can self-insure, and that’s great, but the needed coverage isn’t always obvious – call your advisor so we can do a needs analysis to see if you need to insure your love. It’s not called Love Insurance for nothing. The money must be there to get him or her through that awful adjustment period and possibly for many years thereafter.
You also need an Estate Plan. Your wishes need to be known so that the person you love doesn’t go through the added pain of not having access to your investments for a time, or especially not knowing even where all the investments are.
Finally, you need to understand the purpose of your money and then have your advisor invest it accordingly. Some of our clients don’t know the purpose of their Roths versus their IRAs, their taxable accounts versus their deferred annuities. You need to know why you have what account. Otherwise, how do you know if it’s fulfilling its function?
We’ve discussed all this with you, but I want you to start thinking beyond the investments and allocations and risk numbers for a minute. Think beyond the projections in Right Capital, beyond income and expenses, stop scrolling on your phone and look across the dinner table at that Unbelievable person sitting across from you. You depend on him or her. He or she depends on you. You both depend on us. If one of you passes, you come to depend on us more. It’s a natural role we play. Maybe you can call it just an organizational or guidance thing and that’s fine. But this is a pitch for you to begin thinking about who else in your life is vulnerable to the loss of a loved one on whom they much depend.
This Valentine’s Day let’s all appreciate that person in our lives that helps us, whether it’s a spouse or someone else. We’ve lost too many special people this year and it’s hard. Abraham Lincoln said it best in his Letter to Mrs. Bixby who had lost 5 sons in the Civil War: “I feel how weak and fruitless must be any word of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming.” If you are among those who’ve lost your special person, then please know that in our family, we have been praying for you and will continue to do so on this tough weekend.
Sometimes we show love with words. Sometimes we show love with actions. And no, I’m not referring to Elvis and having a “Little less conversation …” I’m talking about showing love through preparation. Defining the purpose of your investments. Being properly insured. Deploying the right estate planning documents. Proper tax planning for your eventual death. It doesn’t sound like a romantic moonlit walk but the emotional impact years from now may be much, much greater.
Love your person by making thorough preparation for life without you. You need a Wealth Shield for them when you can no longer be there to shield them. Acknowledge you don’t know everything. The wisest person knows he or she knows nothing. (So think how smart you’ll be when you ask for help!!) It’s OK to seek help for friends, family and neighbors you care about. If you love that person, introduce them to us so we can help them. If you haven’t done it for your significant other, what better way to say Happy Valentine’s than “I want to protect you and shield you after I’m gone?” We mean it when we say it. And that’s why we say it, over and over again … If you listen to us, we’ll change your financial world …
Happy Valentine’s,
Lucky Doofus
Portfolio Manager
The Wealth Training Academy
(Marketing Disclaimer: Past performance is never a guarantee of future results. We offer a lot of services. Our planning, tax, and insurance strategies are designed to improve financial outcomes when implemented as recommended. We’re confident in these strategies, but results will vary based on individual circumstances. Investment results cannot be guaranteed. Unless otherwise indicated, no third party individuals mentioned in this article are clients of our firm, nor have they been compensated for appearing. This article is for educational purposes only – we do not recommend anyone buy or sell any security discussed here. Instead, we recommend readers call our office for personal advice about your circumstances! ~The Compliance Department.)
